No Happy Ending
by emptysouls
Summary: Elena G. chose to face her past and write about her previous experiences with Damon in order to truly leave them behind. Will that chapter of her life ever be over though? Will they survive without each other?
1. As The Journey Begins

**No Happy Ending**

**This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending**

**No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending**

**This is the way that we love, like it's forever**

**Then live the rest of our lived, but not together.**

Elena's POV:

Woke up in the morning, my face looked like a total mess. And then again who was I to complain about my life? I kept reminding myself every morning that there were people facing bigger problems than mine but that just couldn't help. I was going through the same routine - woke up in the morning, wiped all the messed up make up from the previous night, got ready and then went to school, went out with my friends and then laid in bed, cried myself to sleep and started it all over again and for some reason that worked out for me just fine. At some sick point in my life I even convinced myself that what I was living for were those nights when I would just stay in my bed and face all the problems and not necessarily find a way to solve them but realize the importance of the events that took place in my life. Why am I so damaged? That is the question. Well you see, my concept in life is that if you have a family, a best friend and an optimistic way of seeing things you can make it through anything. That just seems so basic for you, now doesn't it? I am craving so badly for these things in my life that I find myself living in the past. _The past_. I just remember all these tiny moments, but they just mean so much. At times I find myself mumbling in my room how sorry I am. I am so sorry, God, so sorry. What did I do to have all these basic things taken away from me? I am frustrated with myself. And here it is. This is my story. This is me opening up in front of millions of strangers. This is me getting the courage to tell my story. I got this job at a local magazine, I get to write a small article daily, it's like a piece of a journal so I decided to write about the _past and how it all fell apart. _Oh, I guess I didn't introduce myself. My name is Elena Gilbert, I am 20 years old and writing is my only passion. This is my story, this is the way he left me, it might seem like it has no happy ending but I'd just like to say that it has no ending at all. I am still here, ain't I ?

I am so excited to write for the very first time in an official source - like a magazine so it just has to be perfect and since I don't have much space allocated I have to leave the reader with the main idea of what had truly happened. I was supposed to write about this day that seemed to be so far away for me to reach but as I opened my journal from that time I knew exactly what I had to say. It all started 5 years ago.

It was sometime during the 8th grade. I was anxiously waiting for high school to start, it was just one year away. I could imagine myself as a freshman, finally not being considered "little" anymore. The English class had just started but I wasn't paying attention to the teacher even though everyone in class was doing so. The final exams were a few months away and in order to get into the high school we wanted we had to work harder that year. My phoned buzzed and I took a quick look at the text. I immediately knew who it was from. I smiled at the boy who was sitting next to me as I answered his text under the desk. I was trying to be careful, I didn't want the teacher to see us. He was my best friend. We became really close during that year. He was like a brother. We talked non-stop. It was not only that we messaged each other through the day but we also spent the school breaks together and went out after. We knew everything about each other. I reached that point where I could tell him anything. My friends always used to say that it's crazy how close we are. We basically share all the emotions together and go through them. He smiled at me as I sent him a cute text and I turned my attention to the teacher as she laughed.

"You just can't get enough of her, now can you Damon?" And the whole class began to giggle.

We were used to her little comments about us. I was always her favorite student but with Damon it was different. She disliked him because he always had something to add. He was very stubborn and my teacher could not stand that. We were never truly bothered about her comments, I mean we knew the truth. We were just best friends. I was actually pretty embarrassed at her comment but it just went away. I appreciated the times my English teacher used to be so friendly and nice. The rest of the day was kind of boring.

I arrived home eager to take a bath and as soon as I got into the bathtub my phone buzzed once again. I felt relaxed as the bubbles surrounded my body and replied to Damon.

"'Lena, guess what?"

"What?" I replied curious.

"I like Rose."

As I saw the text, the image of the popular and pretty girl from my school popped up in my mind. She was one year older and just gorgeous. I smiled, I was happy for him. I liked these moment when we could just share things with each other, get closer.

"OMG SO HAPPY FOR YOU."

"You're the first to know Lenaa."

MY heart melted and I felt a rush of happiness going through my body and exploding right in my chest. He had many friends, many best friends actually but knowing that I was the closest to him made me giddy.

"Aww." He didn't need to see my words to know how happy I actually was. As I looked at the number of text messages it increased to 3498 and I wrote him a quick text.

"3499. Your turn now, you know what to write. ;)"

We had this thing. When we reached the 500th message he wrote me a really long and sweet text and since then we take turns. I wrote the 1000th message and now, at 3500 it was his turn. I was looking anxiously at the screen, I couldn't wait to see what he had come up with.

"I love you Elena. You're like the best sister anyone could ask for. I spend every second thinking of you and it just makes sense, you and me. It feels like we're family."

As I saw his text message I nearly teared up. It was the first time I had ever heard those 3 words coming from him and it just seemed like such a big deal. It just seemed like my life finally made sense. There's no greater feeling than knowing that your feelings are returned with the same intensity.

"I love you too. Cutest 3500 message."

As the day went on we continued talking. As I am looking now at this moment it seems so pure and specific to the young age. It just seems real and I'm sure that at that point it was. I am sure that those feelings and attraction that we felt towards each other in a friendly way at the time was 100% sincere.

I smiled at the page from my diary. Once again it all came back in flashes...

I started to write an email to the magazine with the perfect article.

_Chapter 1_

_Like a relationship, a friendship is a road that has its highlights and moments full of shame and hurtful words and actions that affect us in different ways but you know what, it is all worth it. You look at it from the future and you are nothing but proud that you have made it. Want to know my secret? It wasn't until he, my best friend confessed his feelings that I realized how fond I was of him. That moment seemed like more than a highlight cause I was going to carry it with me for the rest of my life and so should you dear readers. You should cherish those moments with every living bone from your body until they are gone cause believe me, at some point they are going to be nothing but pain. To end this on a happy note I want to say that since we told each other how much we cared - loved we took our brother-sister relationship to another level. We felt like we had our own family, like we didn't need anything but each other. I chose to write about this in the very first chapter cause it felt like a beginning. See you tomorrow. _

_ Yours only, Elena. _

**AN: Please review and let me know if you want me to continue with the story, if you like it. **_  
_


	2. Breathe Me

AN: I love writing this story. Please** review** if you want me to continue. Effy S. from Skins will also be a part of the story so this is a crossover.

**Breathe Me**

**Be my friend**  
**Hold me, wrap me up**  
**Unfold me**  
**I am small and needy**  
**Warm me up**  
**And breathe me**

Elena's POV:

I was just checking my mails. I got tons of feedback. Wow, many people were reading that magazine for sure. I was impressed at the positive comments. They were all so anxious to know what happened next. I couldn't really believe that people were that intrigued in my life after all I wasn't that big of a writer either. I was just at the beginning of my career and with every story written, with every interview given, I seemed to grow more and more confident. I have been a writing machine lately. I guess that my determination became like rather an obsession. I had tons of drafts and tossed papers in the corners of my room. I started replying to people, telling them how thankful I am, telling them that how happy they make me feel. I skipped the negative comments, I didn't want to take the time to answer those and I kind of ignored the hate. I was so used to it, it almost didn't matter anymore. A loud knock interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm coming." I shouted as I checked my appearance in the mirror once again.

I opened the door and saw my best friend Effy. Her eyes started travelling around the room and frowned.

"You need to get out of here Elena. You can barely breathe in here. Come on, we're going out!" She pushed me towards my closet and picked a short black skirt, a white shirt and a belt with grayish spikes. "Now get dressed."

"Why so fancy?" I asked knowing that there was no point in arguing with Effy. She always got what she wanted. In fond I haven't had fun for a long long time.

"Clubbing."

I got dressed and we got out of my apartment. We walked in silence as the clicking noise made by my 11 inches heels was the only sound that covered the silence. Effy was smoking a cigarette. A few years ago I tried numerous times to make her quit smoking but it was useless. She said that it helped her calm down, not that she wasn't a quiet person. She got into a cab and I followed her.

"Center Park please." She told the driver as she turned her attention towards me. "He hasn't called."

"How did you know?"

"You would have mentioned it."

Oh God, did I talk that much about him? Effy's phone rang and her blue eyes turned a little bit too mad when she saw the caller id. I was wondering who it was.

"Yes?" She answered with a harsh voice.

"Can we meet? My friends are gone and I am kind of alone."

My eyes grew wider as I heard a familiar voice. It was_ Damon_. They were still friends. I can't say that it didn't bother me. I wanted Effy to entirely stay on my side, I wanted her not to talk to him anymore but who was I to ask that. I knew that she was very harsh with him all the time but that didn't seem enough for me.

"Are you drunk?"

"What? Maybe a little but come on Effy, you are the best drinking buddy."

I rolled my eyes at the previous statement. Effy was drinking _a lot_, yes but nobody knew how truly messed up she was. She had bulimia and was obsessed with being skinnier even though most of the people would say that she is anorexic. For Eff, that would come out as the hugest compliment and I just found that - ... sick. I wanted to help her but nobody truly could. She hated herself and grew up with this "I don't care" mask but I knew that she cared a little too much. Going back to the drinking part, Eff was pretty much the soul of the party. She made me go to all these clubs and let all the worries go away for a night. My parents have always said that she was a bad influence but I knew that I needed her. Otherwise I would spend my days writing and making a total workaholic out of myself. It just worked for us. She is calmer, sometimes wants to drink _too_ much and party_ too_ hard and I am tense most of the time, I think too much and want everything to be perfect. We kind of complete each other.

She kept talking with Damon and I just ignored everything. I got lost in my memories once again.

_"Come on 'Lena! Just tonight. Don't be such a mood killer."_

_I drank shots after shots and danced wildly with Effy. Everything was spinning. Boys started hitting on us but Damon was there every time telling them to back off. It's not that he was not drunk but he always managed to remain down to earth. I stumbled towards him._

_"Woah, easy there." He laughed as he caught me in his arms._

_"I love you." _

_I started dancing, my hands traveled around his perfect torso, touching him a little too much. _

_"I love the way you smile when you are drunk 'Lena. It drives me insane." He smiled as he kept his hands on my waist. _

_Effy interrupted us as she gave me a cigarette and I started making little circles in the air with the smoke. The music was so loud._

_"Let's get out of here." Damon said as he dragged both of us to the Central Park. It was near the club. My head was resting on his shoulder and he held my hand, trying to keep me from falling. Effy was walking near us being as quiet as usually. We sat on a bench and looked at the stars. My vision was so blurry and I just felt sick. The world was spinning with me so I closed my eyes. Damon held me in his arms as he comforted me. __  
_

_"You'll feel better 'Lena." He softly whispered._

_"You two love each other." And the drunk Effy spoke. _

_Damon kissed my cheek and smiled at Eff. She was dancing in the cold air. She looked so free. After awhile Damon took the both of us home and made sure that we were alright. He was such a good friend when it came to my safety. _

I came back to reality when I heard Effy mentioning my name. I knew what my next chapter would be about. I couldn't wait to get home and write it.

"I'm with 'Lena. I can't."

A loud silence took control over their conversation. I couldn't help but wonder if he still was with Caroline, his girlfriend. I have always wanted to ask Eff how things were going between the two of them but I just didn't have the courage. I couldn't bring myself to care ever again or even spend a small part of the day thinking of him. The curiosity has never left though.

We got out of the cab as we saw the familiar club. I entered without bothering to look if Effy was behind me. I didn't know why but I was just mad at her.

"6 tequila shots." I said wanting to let it all go.

I drank all of them in a heartbeat and my vision became blurry once again. The familiar feeling took control over my body as a soft sensation traveled from my head, to my hands and legs. Effy came near me and handed me the "white powder" or "happy dust" as we called it. It was Cocaine. She took the "blue heavens" - Depressants.

I spotted the familiar toned muscular body across the bar. The tears made my vision even more blurry. Everybody was dancing,their bodies were moving around me but as the blue eyes spotted mine I lost control. Everything was spinning so fast, everything became so white, or no it was purple. My body softened and my legs couldn't hold me anymore. I became more and more weak. I heard a sharp scream and then another. I felt myself falling, I couldn't do anything. It all felt so... heavenly beautiful. For me it all seemed to stop and for a moment right there I swear I was at peace with everything. I didn't care about anyone anymore, I didn't feel miserable, I didn't feel like a second choice, I felt like me. And just for a moment it felt right.

"ELENA!" Effy shouted as she tapped my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

And I fainted. My body hit the dancing floor with such a power that I immediately blacked out. It was strange, I swear I could still see his face through the darkness. I must have gone insane.

* * *

I woke up in my bed with a massive headache. God, why did I do that? I shook my head at my stupidity as I remembered that I had to email the next chapter to my boss immediately. I began to freak out, I didn't even write it.

"EFF!" I shouted her name expecting her to walk in my living room any moment.

"Sorry, I had to take her home too."

Damon smiled at me and studied for a little too long my legs. Wait, D-Damon?

"What are you doing here?"

My view seemed so familiar, yet so unbelievable. Damon was just standing there holding a cup of tea. I nodded my head instead of thanking him. I was too caught up in my thoughts. Why was my faith so cruel?

"I was worried about you."

I looked at him trying to bring myself together. I couldn't cry in front of him, I have been trying to be strong for such a long time. I couldn't count the times I wanted to break down in front of him knowing how guilty he would have felt, knowing how it would have crushed him. I wanted it so badly, I wanted to enter in that little mind of his and see what he wanted for me, why he was so distantly holding on to.. to us. US. I missed us. I missed his blue eyes locking with mine every now and then, saying the words we have been afraid to say, I missed how I felt worth his love, oh God every little inch of my body screamed for his lips capturing mine. In that moment I couldn't help but feel a little too needy. Craving for the love you want to desperately to have for the second time in your life is not exactly a good way to spend your night, or day, or even a little precious second of your life.

"I miss you 'Lena."

I looked at him like he was some kind of an insane person. How could he say that he missed me? I didn't want to let myself fall for his lies once again but it all felt so real, I swear for one second I wanted to believe him. I didn't want to question every word he said like it was some sick riddle.

"I need to write." I added as I tried to show my mean side but his soft look damaged me once again.

"Then write." He simply stated as he handed me my laptop. I expected him to leave but he didn't move an inch, he just stood there on my bed studying my face as I was trying to concentrate on the chapter but when his gorgeous eyes were looking into mine, I swear I couldn't help but get all these memories back. But oh, how I tried to fight it. With every single moment remembered, with every flash coming back to life I felt like a sharp knife was drawing little circles on my skin, leaving blood drops as a sign of how deep it hurt. As my mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of the past I started typing.

_Chapter 2_

_When you seem to be drowned into this fictional world that you want so badly to become your life, the closest person to your heart brings you back to your senses and reminds you that they are the reason you keep fighting. They seem to care so much for you that at times it scares you. You're afraid of messing up and hurting this person so much that it becomes like an obsession to you, it becomes like a matter of life and death. The feeling you get when someone holds you so tightly around his heart and takes care of you, trying to show you his softest part, the one no one has ever seen cannot be described. You feel fortunate, you feel... happy even though you are so messed up._

___Yours only, Elena._

I pressed 'send' and closed my laptop as I dared to look into Damon's eyes for the second time that night. He was in the exactly same place he had been standing before I started writing. I knew how stubborn he was, I was not going to win this or any fight with Damon. Somehow I couldn't stand being on other side than his'. It didn't feel right. But as I saw him leaving my room I questioned myself. The door closed and I remained silent, shocked by what had just happened. I shook the feeling off as I fell asleep. My headache didn't seem to let me think any longer.


	3. Party 'nd Bullshit

AN: Here it is. Hope you guys like this chapter.

**Party 'nd Bullshit**

**Hangover, I think I'm broken**  
**You said the fix is a shot of Jack**  
**I said, "Man, what are you smoking?"**  
**But alright, pour a glass, and we'll throw 'em back**  
**I wanna party and bullshit**  
**And party and bullshit.**

I woke up the next evening with a huge headache. I could still hear the loud beats, feel the dizziness and barely see images from the previous night going through my head. I closed my eyes and searched for my phone. I was surprised to find it on the table, near my bed. I dialed Effy's number and waited for her to answer. Ding, Ding. The sound was so annoying, I could hear it too loud, I wanted it to stop.

"Yes." Effy finally answered.

"Headache. Come over." I told her and threw the phone somewhere near the bed.

In a few minutes she enter the room with some Aspirin. I swallowed 3 pills and took Effy's cigarette.

"Hey! I was smoking that." She said clearly annoyed.

"Do not care." I closed my eyes as the smoke traveled through my body. It relaxed me a little, after all I guess Effy was right. Smoking was a way of feeling more relaxed.

"We're going out tonight." That got Effy's attention.

"It's your birthday silly." I tried to smile but I miserably failed. That hangover was just too much.

"You know I don't like celebrating these. It's just a normal day."

"Too bad. We're getting dressed up. This is my present." I grabbed her hand and we nearly ran towards my closet. I grabbed the sexiest clothes I could think of for the both of us. In fond it was her birthday.

"I'll let you get dressed up." I went out of the room and made a quick call. The familiar number appeared on my screen and for a second I could swear that my eyes got teary but I shook off the feeling.

"Elena?" I heard his voice interrupting my thoughts.

"Eff's birthday. Meet us in 10 at out club. Call all of Eff's friends. I would have called them but I woke up a little too late." I closed the phone before I got the chance to hear his voice once again.

I applied some makeup, the newly made dark grey shadows highlighting my deep brown eyes. My dress was too short and my heels were too high and my makeup was too dark but I didn't mind. I liked it that way. In my happiest days I used to wear light shades of grey and purple combined with pink but now those colors made me feel disgusted, fake. Effy walked in the room and I studied my dress fitting her curves perfectly, her blue eyes matching her dark blueish shoes. She smiled at me and I knew that it was her way of thanking me. She never smiled when she was sober.

We arrived at the club and I frowned as I realized that the lights and music were off. I knew Damon would try his best but this time he just amazed me. A bunch of familiar faces and also a couple of strangers were hidden in the darkness. As the lights went on they all jumped towards Effy who was overwhelmed with love and birthday wishes. I went towards the bar and spotted Damon. With a fast move he pointed with his head the place near him and I took a sit, knowing that there was no turning back.

"300 ml of Jack." He smiled to me and I ignored the butterflies from my stomach and the electricity running through my body. "And 2 Tequila shots."

Of course he knew my favorite drinks. Of course he remembered. A sharp pain cut me like a knife as I remembered the day he told me that he liked me.

_We were sending each other messages as usually._

_"Have you ever thought about us? Like together."_

_"What do you mean?" I replied confused._

_"Like a couple. Because I always have."_

_"And?" _

_"And I'd like that."_

_"I don't know Damon."_

_"I was kind of unsure either but then I realized something. I really love you."_

_"You know I love you too." I smiled as I read his text._

_"And then?"_

_"What would happen if I said that I thought about us being together?"_

_"I don't know 'Lena. I just want you so badly, all for myself."_

_"..." I wasn't sure of what to say. I didn't know where that was coming from._

_"Would you be my girlfriend?"_

_As I read the text my mind was flooded with flashbacks. Damon taking me to school, calling me whenever he was alone, him and I hiding from his friends so that we could spend more time alone, Damon and I laughing out loud in the middle of the English class, us sharing secrets, getting drunk together, playing truth or dare (somehow our friends always made us do weird things to each other like him kissing my neck or holding me for the rest of the night), tons of people asking us if we were together, us laughing it off, Damon, Effy and I making fun of my neighbors, his jacket keeping me warm, Damon always taking my side, even when I was wrong. Me and Damon eating the same ice cream, him and I teasing each other like there was no tomorrow, his gentle voice telling me how beautiful I looked everyday, his hand holding mine through the boring Maths classes, Damon begging for kisses on the cheek. I remembered it all. I remembered the times the teachers were smirking at us as they saw us getting out of his apartment everyday before school. Who knew they had a soft side? His hand brushing over mine as we walked the halls of the crowded school, my eyes getting lost in his, Damon slowly caressing my features just to make sure that I was listening to him, understanding him._

_And it hit me. I didn't want anything to change. I wanted it to stay like this but little did I know that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't know that I would regret it forever. That it would be haunting me everyday, every night, every moment. I wrote him a long text about how everything was perfect, about how I wanted it to stay that way. That was when he begged me, when he told me to think about it. And guess what? The next day my answer was still no. _

_"I love you 'Lena" he texted me after I refused him once again getting tired of hurting his feelings, feeling the guilt rushing through my veins._

_"I love you too Damon." I replied in a heartbeat. That was the only thing I was sure of, the only thing that had no doubts attached, no second thoughts, it was all I had figured out._

_"But I love you in all the ways. You just love me as a "brother"." He quoted my words like they were some sick joke and I guess that was the very first time I hurt him._

_My hands were trembling and my silent cries filled the emptiness of the room._

I shook my head as a familiar feeling of guilt sparkled in my mind. At the 5th shot of tequila the feeling finally started to disappear. My giggles brought a smile to Damon's face.

"Aye, look who got giddy."

I was about to answer him until somebody grabbed my hand. He started dancing and my hips slowly began to move in sync with his. I searched Damon's eyes around the club. He was carefully eyeing me from the spot I was a few moments before the mysterious stranger grabbed my hand. If things were normal between us, he would have dragged me away from the boy who was getting a little too close to me. But then again, everything was far from normal. For the first time that night I focused on the boy. His hands were exploring the curves of my body as my hands were lost around his neck. He grabbed a bottle of vodka from a man who was heading outside. I quickly grabbed it and drank almost half of it. My vision was now blurry and my hands ran through his hair. Wait - who was he? He had beautiful eyes and his features were so beautiful. Was - was it Damon? I didn't waste a second and pulled him in for a kiss. The thought of Damon kissing my lips gave me chills. I could feel the sparkles and butterflies from my stomach as an image with him ran through my mind. I couldn't see him clearly. We stumbled towards a comfortable couch and I took control over his body as I was on top. We had been kissing for a really long time. Or I thought so. I took a sharp breath and decided I was ready to push him away. I was ready to face Damon. I tried to focus, I tried to look straight in his eyes.

**Blue.**

But they weren't - I ran from the stranger as soon as I realized he wasn't Damon. I backed away from him when he tried to grab my hand. I stood in a corner and started sobbing. How I missed Damon. There was nothing like the way our hearts beat faster when our eyes met, there was nothing like the shivers he made me feel. There was nothing like his lips meeting mine, his hand caressing my face, calming me down. The electricity was running through my veins whenever I felt him near, couldn't he see it? He was a part of me. I was once begging him not to leave me in the pouring rain, he said he missed me but then why did he go? I gave him everything but still he pushed me away. I felt lost, I saw everything black and white, I missed him more and more. It was sick how I was starting to forget the things he had done to me, I couldn't help but let the love conquer. I didn't understand it, I never would. I thought everything was alright, I thought, no I still did - I knew that he loved me. I was screaming in agony as I broke the empty bottle of Jack that was laying on the floor. I took one of the shattered pieces of glass and started to stab my hand repeatedly. I was lucky nobody noticed me since the music was too loud and the corner I was leaned against was not really visible.

"What's wrong 'Lena?" he shouted so that I could hear his voice over the music. I felt his hand stopping mine from causing myself more pain.

"I'm taking you home." He added as he wanted to take me in his arms.

"Don't ever call me like that, my name is Elena. God damn it Damon." I pushed him away but I didn't find the strength to make him back away. Couldn't he just leave me alone?

I stood up but I couldn't see. The memories, all of our memories were playing again in chronological order in my head.

"Please go away." I started begging desperately. "Just go."

I was leaning against the nearest wall and I slowly slid down until I hit the cold floor. I wanted to fall and break. That was when his arms instinctively brought me closer to his body. Blood, my blood was all over his shirt. The tears were falling so fast and I was trying so hard to hold them back but that made me break down even more in the end. He rocked me back and forth whispering comforting words in my ear but I couldn't hear what he was saying because of the music. And we just stood there. He didn't need to ask any questions, he knew I didn't want him to.

He surprised me when he did. "What happened?"

"Damon? Why did you let him kiss me?" I looked at him like I was a fragile piece of glass that was going to break anytime soon. The hurt and guilt in his eyes were so easily for me to read that it scared me.

"I'm so so sorry, I thought you wanted him. I'm so so sorry." I saw a tear falling from his perfect, amazingly beautiful blue eyes.

"I thought he was you." I whispered. I was sure he didn't hear me, he seemed too confused.

After I had calmed down, Damon drove me back home. I rushed to the computer and I started typing fast.

_Chapter 3_

_The biggest mistakes are the ones who define who we are. Some people are strong enough to let them go but I never was. How can I let go of the only thing that is keeping me alive? Since it all ended I have been living in the past, going through the times I was happy everyday. I am helpless, the memories are just too much. All I can do is just wait for them to go away or hope that they would come back, that it isn't over. All I feel is pain. I have always heard people saying that letting go isn't easy, that it takes everything in you but I didn't really believe them until now. I guess that you, the ones who are reading this will say the same thing. However, I hope that you will never realize how hard it is._

_Sincerely__ yours, Elena._

**AN : Please leave your review and let me know if you like the story or if I should continue. I'm not quite sure at the moment because of the lack of response I am getting.**_  
_


	4. Aches

**Aches**

**But her mind aches**

**And her heart breaks**

**Cause she's silly.**

Elena's POV:

Take a deep breath. Run. Run faster. Pass by the empty stores and let the silhouettes vanish in the darkness. Run for your life. Run like it is a matter of surviving. Run. Why are you looking back? You start feeling little drops of sweat travelling down your face. _They_ could be easily mistaken and think that they are tears. No, you don't care that much. You are not feeling anything. Not anything at all. _Who are they?_ They are the voices that echo through your mind. We have all felt it... it's when the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel convinced that your voice can never be heard. You are still running. Your legs feel numb. Your body is starting a battle against your psychical desire. The tension. Darkness, darkness. Escape. _Continue running._ You feel some strains of your hair blurring your view. No destination. Just run. You stop. Why did you stop so suddenly? You try to move... but you can't. You feel sore. It is too late. _T__hey _surrounded you. They're everywhere. You're captive. You're chained. Your thoughts are getting louder and louder. You're almost wondering if the people who gave you strange looks, can hear you. You can feel your cells running through your veins. And then it finally hits you. Everything becomes silent. The voices, the loud horn noises made by the dozen of cars who want to get out of the city as well, they are all on mute. Your head is spinning. You begin to lose your balance. The air from your lungs thins. You're making efforts to breathe. You are ready to leave it all behind. Isn't it ironic? Isn't it unfair that when you finally make the courage to put the past behind, the universe gets back at you? Why won't it let you get away? Your mind is playing you tricks. You see yourself in 10 years, in 20 years from now. You don't seem happy. You seem indifferent and empty, but mostly lonely. The love that you were once craving so badly had just vanished. You don't want to feel anything at all.

_Oh, you're in my veins_

_And I cannot get you out_

_Oh, you're all I taste_

_At night inside of my mouth_

_Oh, you run away_

_'Cause I am not what you found_

My ringtone interrupted my thoughts once again and I slowly answered, not looking at the caller ID.

"Elena, talk to me. I'm on my way back home."

_"Elena, talk to me. I'm on my way back home." Damon's happy voice made me giggle._

_"You always do that." _

_"Do what?" I could perfectly imagine his rosy lips forming a small smile. _

_"You always call me when you're heading back home or when you're alone." _

_"The point is that I miss you, Elena."_

_"I miss you too, Damon."_

_"Can we meet? I'm going to Monaco for 3 weeks starting tomorrow and I want to see you so badly."_

_"Damon?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I didn't mean to hurt you." The cold tears were once again running down my cheeks._

_"I know beautiful. Just meet me."_

_"The park near me, in 10." _

_I heard the beep that marked the end of the conversation. "I love you" I slowly whispered._

"'Lena? Are you still there?"

"Yes, Damon. Why did you call anyways?"

"We haven't talked for a long time. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Well it is a habit for us."

"What?"

"Not talking for weeks."

"Let's meet."

_I spotted Damon on a bench and I took a seat near him. His arms immediately wrapped around my body as he kissed my forehead. _

_"I love you, 'Lena." he whispered in my ear._

_"I love you too."I said as I closed my eyes only to hear a swift change of tone in his voice._

_"In all the ways possible." The coldness of his tone hit me hard._

_"Do we always have to get back to this conversation? Do we always have to fight about it? Why can't you just let it go?" My voice began to rise, I was losing my temper. _

_"I'm never going to let it go. Why can't you jeu accept the fact that we're meant for each other? I'd give anything just so that I could call you mine."_

_I pulled away from his embrace, giving him glares. _

_"Best friends, that's what we are."_

_He touched my leg as visible goosebumps appeared on my skin._

_"Do best friends do that?" _

_His voice sounded loud, powerful. _

_He once again made a move and began to stroke my cheeks. His blue eyes were staring into mine._

_"Do best friends do that?"_

_He pulled me closer and my breath hitched. Our foreheads were touching. His eyes easily found mine once again. I bit my lips. His breath was mixing with mine, my legs were numb. _

_"Do best friends do that?" He whispered once again._

_His lips were so close to mine and just when they were about to collide, I pulled away._

_"Just stop it, will you?"_

_"Stop what?"_

_"Everything. If this, all of it, doesn't seem normal for us, best friends, to do then don't do it anymore. Don't touch me, don't hold my hand, don't hold me, just stop it."_

_A hurt look took control over his face. _

_"You don't mean it." He answered coldly._

_"In fact I really mean it. I love you Damon but damn it you drive me mad at times."_

_"This is the last time I'm gonna see you in weeks and we are fighting. It's just great 'Lena." _

_"Then let's not fight. Just drop it."_

_He hugged me as we stood up. "I gotta go but I'm really gonna miss you."_

_"Promise me we'll talk everyday." I said tearfully. _

_"I promise." He smiled at me._

_"Kiss goodbye?" He asked jokingly with a hint of seriousness in his eyes._

_"You wish." I laughed as I went back home. _

"No." I answered simply.

"Come on. Don't you miss me at all?"

"No."

"Fine, how have you been?"

"Listen, I really need to go back home and submit a chapter so talk to you later."

I didn't hesitate and closed the phone. I ran home and started typing fast.

_Chapter 4_

_You are living your fantasies and you are not even aware of it, your current reality is more beautiful than your wildest dreams and you are not appreciating it well enough. You create all these walls around you, you are isolated from the happiness, from the pain and then... it hits you. The impact of the moment is so harsh that you cannot get up, it is too late. And you want it all back and you swear to God that you would appreciate every minute of it, you swear that you will be truly happy but then again a chance like that doesn't come too many times. Can't you just have it twice? _

**AN: Sorry for the long wait guys. I'm back though. Please leave your reviews, they make my day. :)**


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